Saturday, July 3, 2010

Fraidy Cat

Sigh. I chalked out July 1st and 2nd for Step 1 and 2 of the GTD process (collecting and processing) and I did not take action. I could feel it coming, the storm of uncertainty, the excuses, the F-E-A-R.

"What is there to be afraid of? It's just a little collecting after all!"

You're right! You are so right! There is nothing dangerous about collecting. But, I started feeling afraid that I wouldn't have what it takes to do the whole process. Here were my excuses: "You don't have an big inbox, Heather, how are you going to collect all the items?" "What if you pull all of these items out, sit them in the center of your room and fail to process all of them? Then you'll be stuck with this mountain of to-do's and you'll just have to move it into the closet anyway." "You don't have all that many items anyway because you are pretty well organized already. Though, you should be MORE organized because you are, after all a professional organizer. What would your clients think if they saw your place? Oh God! They would think you were a fraud! Who would hire you?!?!? You better clean up, girl. Fast!"

So instead of collecting, I did my dishes, threw away some clothes that no longer fit, and reorganized my kitchen cabinets and drawers. I will say my apartment feels nicer as a result. But the fact is...I am still operating on a "put fires out" kind of basis when it comes to my work flow. I know that in order for me to find that peaceful flow Mr. Allen talks about, there is work to be done. Starting with: COLLECTING.

I am not happy with myself for being such a resistant Fraidy Cat, BUT I am grateful for this resistance in one sense: At least now I have a deeper sense of compassion for my clients when they feel resistance to undertake the organizing process. It's simply not an easy thing to gear up for mentally. There is a lot of emotional stuff around all of this. Even simply attempting to be more productive brings up some of those odd human foibles (fear of success, perfectionism, uncertainty, etc.). This is all for good.

I'll continue to go at a snail's pace. Better to be a Slow-And-Steady-Snail than a Fraidy Cat, don't you think?

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